


There's you in everything I do

by vogue91



Series: 500themes [63]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Making Up, Oral Sex, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 06:57:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18845959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: The cell phone, that antiquate piece of junk, burned in his pocket as a thousand suns. And Tony knew sooner or later he was going to use it, so he didn’t see a reason why it shouldn’t have been right now.It rang, and rang. He had been about to give up, when the familiar, warm voice welcomed him.“Tony?”“Hi, Cap. I need you.”





	There's you in everything I do

**Title:** There’s you in everything I do

 **Characters:** Tony Stark, Steve Rogers

 **Pairing:** Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

 **Rating:** NC-17

 **Word count:** 4.550

**Prompt:[177\. Compassion’s shadow](http://vogue91.blogspot.com/2018/05/500themes.html)**

**N/A:** Set after Captain America – Civil War. Title’s from Imagine Dragon’s ‘I bet my life’.

_If you need me, I’ll be there._

Tony had thought about those words more than he cared to admit.

He shouldn’t have read the letter. He should’ve kept telling himself Steve had kept the fact that Bucky had been the one to kill his parents only for the sake of his old brother in arms, not a concern for Tony, for his pain, for how many years it had taken him to deal with the fact that he had been left alone.

Steve had cured him of that loneliness, somehow. He had been there, more than anyone else before, more than he should’ve.

 _That_ was what hurt. Wondering whether it all had always been about James fucking Buchanan, whether it all came from a place of guilt, rather than an actual will to be there for and with Tony.

But he couldn’t erase it, no matter the reasons behind it.

The cell phone, that antiquate piece of junk, burned in his pocket as a thousand suns. And Tony knew sooner or later he was going to use it, so he didn’t see a reason why it shouldn’t have been right now.

It rang, and rang. He had been about to give up, when the familiar, warm voice welcomed him.

 _“Tony?”_ Steve said, disbelief and concern in his voice.

“Hi, Cap. I need you.”

 

~

 

Looking at him right now was almost unreal.

He remembered the first time he had seen him, he remembered the last.

The time in between had been such a blur for him that he really didn’t want to focus on that.

Steve looked around, unfamiliar with the place.

“So... I've heard you’re selling Avenger’s Tower.” were the first words he said, and Tony would’ve willingly punched him for that.

“Yeah. Needed a change of air, you know. After.” he fidgeted, and he didn’t know why.

 _He_ should’ve been the one with the upper hand. He was the one with a right to be mad, the one who had been left in Siberia licking his own wounds, even the ones he had thought had long since become scars.

“I can relate.” Steve replied, on his toes.

It was weird, of course. Tony had made it so, and there was no way he was going to get out of it without shedding some skin first.

“So... not curious as to why I called?” he asked, the same old indifference in his voice, pretending he wasn’t basing everything on this particular, futile conversation.

Steve frowned and looked intently at him.

“I know why you called.” he said, simply. “You said you needed me, and nothing else. If you couldn’t put it in words...” he shrugged. “I guess it’s the same thing I've been feeling these past few months.”

That, Tony didn’t need to hear.

He had almost wished Steve to be mad he had called without a real reason – like the end of the world, an alien invasion or something like that – but this made it a whole lot harder.

“What have you been feeling?” he asked, watching intently as the elder walked toward him, a troubled look on his face.

“You’re the one who called. I shouldn’t be the one to say it.”

And that was where Tony drew the line.

“You’re the one who’s been hiding the identity of my parents’ killer all these years. I guess you can make the effort.”

The look on Steve’s face told Tony that he didn’t want to talk about it, and that he was sure they were going to get there.

How could they not?

“It’s a secret that doesn’t change anything, Tony. I haven’t told you because...” he paused, looking troubled. “I don’t know why I didn’t. I lied to myself a thousand times, saying it was to spare you the pain, but perhaps that’s not true. Perhaps I just wanted to spare the pain to myself.” he shrugged, unable to keep looking at him.

It still hurt like hell, the betrayal. Tony started to think he shouldn’t have called him, that he still wasn’t ready to face him and what he had done, that he should’ve let the dust settle a while longer before exposing himself to another wave of that deep pain.

But having him in front of himself, still, pleased him more than the pain stung.

“Or maybe it’s him.” he said, quietly, because he didn’t really want to know. “Maybe it’s always been about Bucky, and you being afraid of what could’ve happened to him.” he bit down hard on his tongue, ad chose to stop right there.

“He can defend himself alright.” was Steve’s reply, given with a tentative smirk. “What I’d wish you understood is that he wasn’t himself. You can't blame him for your parents’ death, Tony. You can blame Hydra all you want, but not him.”

Of course, on a rational level, Tony knew he was right.

Still, Hydra had crumbled down, and he had run out of people to blame. Bucky was going to have to do.

“Is this why you came? Do you wish to make me see the error of my ways? Want me to forget your beloved Bucky, so that if I do you can allow yourself to think he’s a better man than he actually is?” he shook his head, annoyed. “He’s still a killer, Cap. And yet, you have risked everything for his sake.”

Steve looked intently at him, his face unreadable right now. When he spoke, he did so with determination, tainted with just the slightest hint of anger.

“Had you been him, I would’ve done the same for you, Tony.” he hissed. “Had you been me, I would’ve had your back right from the start. I would’ve trusted your word, I wouldn’t have let my guilt over something I couldn’t possibly foresee blind...”

“Do you really think Sokovia had anything to do with it?” Tony interrupted him. “People are dead because of me. There’s no trying and spinning it. So, yes, I signed the damn Accords because I felt responsible and I wanted something to keep me in check when the next Ultron would’ve presented itself. But it’s not what’s caused the schism.” he sighed, trying to calm down. “If you want me to put myself in your shoes, have the decency of doing the same. And then tell me how it would’ve made you feel to see me give up on everything because of a man. You’ve always had a blind spot for him, Steve. I just wish I could’ve been as important as him, but apparently history has set us on a different path.” he finished, then turned around so that the elder couldn’t see the anguished look on his face.

What did he wanted him to say? He was close to come out and yell, telling him he was fucking jealous of Barnes, if that was what would’ve taken for him to open his eyes.

He didn’t hear him get closer, and got startled when he felt his hands on his waist.

He wished he would’ve been strong or stubborn enough to push him away, but he couldn’t.

He was tired of waging war against him.

“I didn’t choose Bucky over you, Tony.” he murmured, pressing his forehead against the back of the younger’s head. “I chose to protect him because he’s my oldest friend. Because he’s the only one left who knew the old me. It’s something I can't explain, the way I feel bound to him in that sense.” he sighed, pushing on his sides to make him turn around. “But it has nothing to do with the way I feel when I'm...” he shrugged and chuckled, embarrassed. “Here. With you.”

Tony wanted to hit him. Hard. Test the limits of the serum like they had never been tested, making it seem as if the Chitauri, Ultron, Siberia had all been a mild attempt at tickling him instead.

But he wasn’t going to win this, no matter how hard he tried, so he went for the next best option and kissed him.

It felt different than any of the previous times it had happened. Different from the kiss they had stolen to each other after having defeated Loki, different from the kiss Steve had given him in Sokovia, meaning to soothe him, different from the kiss Tony had snuck on his lips before telling him about the Accords, feeling guilty as hell.

This was true, it was real. It was angry and soon got messy, Tony parting his lips to let him in, Steve’s hands clawing his hips as if he wanted to hurt him.

They could’ve saved a lot of words, had they kissed each other like this first.

Steve was the first to pull away, looking at him slightly guilty.

“I don’t know how we got here.” he admitted, sighing.

“I do.” Tony replied, shaking his head. “We should’ve gotten here sooner. Right after Loki, I suppose. Should’ve tried and see where it would’ve gone, and today we wouldn’t be here.” he smirked. “Or maybe we would, and I would feel even more betrayed than I do now.”

The elder blushed, taking a step forward.

“I wouldn’t have pursued this without telling you. I suppose.” he tried to defend himself, but as it turned out, Tony didn’t care anymore.

He thought he needed someone to keep him in check to feel better, that he needed stability, that he needed to rethink everything he had done up until now.

Instead he needed to be exactly there, kissing the man he had helped rendering a war criminal.

They kept looking at each other for a while, enough for it go get uncomfortable, and then Tony scoffed.

“Do you plan on waiting another world catastrophe before kissing me again? Because, honestly, even though I reckon it’s going to happen soon, I also don’t want to...” he was interrupted, because Steve complied to his request quite willingly. More than he would’ve hoped.

They took their time, now. There was no urge, no reason why they shouldn’t savour it.

World had already gone to shit, there was nothing left to hold them back.

As he kissed him, Tony kept thinking.

It felt good. Too good to afford pondering about all that had gone down between them, too good for him not to enjoy he had meant to since the first time it had happened.

He snuck a hand under the elder’s shirt, cautious, wondering how this stuff worked back in the thirties, if he should’ve courted him first, meet him every Sunday for mass and wait until after the wedding to...

Steve’s moan cut off his ridiculous train of thought, in a very pleasing way.

Tony pulled away, a triumphant look on his face.

“Care to move this elsewhere?” he asked, his expression daring him to deny he wanted this just as much.

Steve licked his lower lip, taking a deep breath and in the end nodding.

Tony couldn’t keep his hands to himself for the whole, _long_ , way to his bedroom; he kept kissing him, messily trying to get rid of his shirt, attacking his collarbone when he finally managed, almost knocking over half of his furniture as he went.

When they finally reached his bedroom, it took all of his self-control to prevent him from throwing the elder on the bed; he was sure he wasn’t going to take well an attack too direct on his manliness.

Steve looked at him for a few moments, before smiling.

“I suppose it won’t surprise you to find out...”

“That you haven’t gotten any in seventy years?” Tony completed is sentence for him, grinning. Steve snorted, but then he nodded.

“It’s not like I’ve had too many chances. Too busy saving the world.”

The younger stepped toward him, letting his hand run along his hip, absorbed.

“But you know what they say about all work and no play, Cap.” he murmured, then looked at him. “Honestly, I'm more surprised you’re not a virgin. I might’ve lost a bet with Natasha.”

Steve rolled his eyes, then stole his move from him and threw him on the bed.

“You always underestimate me, Tony. That’s always been the issue between us.” he told him, making room for himself on the bed, climbing on top of him, his legs on each side of Tony’s.

The younger pulled up, wrapping his arms around him, holding him tight.

“I never once did. The issue lays there.” he corrected him, then moved quickly to exchange positions, towering over him and looking straight into his eyes. “I don’t want this to be yet another power game, Cap. I want this to be the way we fix things.”

Steve laughed, a sound so good that Tony basked in it.

“The best politics are always played in bed, aren't they?” he commented, shrugging.

And then he just laid there, looking defenceless as much as he could, and Tony took it as an invitation to do as he pleased with him.

And, oh, he couldn’t ask for anything better.

He took his sweet time undressing him, taking in every inch of skin he discovered, looking at him so intently that it almost felt as if he had never seen a naked man before in his life.

He wished he could’ve blamed it on the serum, but he knew it was just Steve.

“Enjoying the show?” the Captain asked him at some point, apparently amused by the look on Tony’s face.

“Immensely.” the younger replied, without wavering. Once even the last item of clothing was gone he took a look at the wholeness underneath him, looking extremely pleased. “I won’t lie to you, I've imagined exactly this. But...” he shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I thought it was never going to happen for real.”

“God, I hope I'm up for the challenge. I wouldn’t want to disappoint your expectations, I know how _creative_ your imagination can be.” he joked, but Tony could see clearly there was something else beyond it.

Urge, maybe. A little of truth, because it wouldn’t have been him if he didn’t always to be up to the task at hand.

Some leftover compassion, God knew for what. That compassion’s shadow fitted him perfectly, even though Tony found it completely wasted on him.

He didn’t need Captain fucking America to feel sorry for him, for all that had gone down between them. He needed Steve Rogers to show him that they could move past that, in the way they should’ve taken the first day they had met.

“I'm sure you’ll do.” he dismissed him quickly, before testing that same skin he had so admired with his mouth.

He was nothing but a meticulous man, and tried to reach every spot he could with his tongue. He tried to map his body, taking mental notes of what spots challenged his will to keep quiet through this, and then hit them again and again, just for the sake of seeing him struggle.

The lower he moved, the more he could see him fidget, and when he reached his groin he saw him pull up, looking straight at him.

“What?” Tony asked, arching an eyebrow. “Do you want me to stop? I mean, I’ve put my money on you being vanilla and everything, but this is hardly outside of anyone’s comfort zone.”

Steve smirked, shaking his head.

“I don’t want you to stop.” he assured him. “Just wanted to look at you doing it.”

If he hadn't been aroused before – and, God, he had been – he definitely was now.

He lost any will to tease and went straight for it, letting his tongue meet the elder’s cock, moving down the whole shaft and then back up, before wrapping his lips around the tip and give a tentative suck.

And there it was. That moan he had been looking for, almost obscene coming from Steve, and when Tony raised his eyes to look at him he saw it clearly on his face how much he wanted this, how much he was going to enjoy it.

And, always the pleaser, he went straight to business.

He lowered slowly but constantly, struggling a little around the girth but breathing through it. He started bobbing his head at a quicker pace, then, his eyes never leaving Steve’s, who as promised was watching intently at him, not missing one of his movements.

Once Tony felt more confident he went further down, taking it all in until the tip met the resistance of his throat; he let him sit there for as long as he could, before having to come back up for hair.

“Damn it.” Steve said, almost breathless.

“I wanna say ‘language’, but that would be too low.” Tony replied with a cocky smirk. He didn’t leave Steve time to complain – and he was sure he was going to – and went back to business.

He tried to take his time, but the years during which they had denied this to each other were starting to get the best of him. No matter how much he wanted it to last, he also couldn’t wait to see the Captain fall apart under his ministration, because the current look on his face told Tony he was very close to it.

He deepthroated him one more time, holding on to his legs for leverage and to avoid any – involuntary, he was still an old-fashioned gentleman – jerk of his hips; Steve’s moans were the only things he could hear, the way he tried to keep quiet and failed enough to drive him crazy.

Now, he really wanted this to be done. He wanted to finish Steve off and take care of himself, the strain in his pants almost enough to distract him from the task at hand.

Almost.

When he realized the elder was close he backed off a little, keeping only the tip between his lips and stroking him, fast. He raised his eyes, and there he was: still looking at him, his face almost twisted by the pleasure, as he clawed the sheets to try and vent in some way.

Tony pulled away a moment, breathing heavily and managing to smile to him.

“Come on, Cap.” he said, his voice worn out by the task. “Come for me.”

Apparently, that did it for Steve: he barely made it in time to get his lips back around him that the Captain had arched off the bed, _cursing_ and letting go inside Tony’s mouth, moaning loud through it as the younger kept sucking him until he didn’t have anything else to give.

Once he let him go, Tony got up and looked at him, making a show of swallowing and then collapsing next to him on the bed.

“From the state of you one would think they didn’t suck cock all that well in the thirties.” he joked, fidgeting uncomfortably.

He really wanted to tear his pants off, but he was going to wait to see if Steve was going to make a move for it.

The elder pushed on his shoulder, giving him a look of reproach.

“They did...” he started, then shook his head. “Like I said, it had been a while. Don’t flatter yourself.” he chose to say in the end, but the look on his face still pleased Tony enough to make him feel pretty glad about himself.  

It took Steve all of one minute to regain control of himself, breathe at a normal rate again and then turn around to look at him, grinning.

“Uncomfortable?” he asked innocently, nodding toward his crotch.

“Not really. Some of us still have their self-control, you know?” the younger replied, little convincingly with how thick with arousal his voice was.

Steve moved a hand to his belt, undoing it horribly slowly.

“Oh, all right. So, should I leave you like this? If you’re not into this, maybe I shouldn’t reciprocate.” he mocked him, caressing him through the fabric of his boxers, smiling harder when Tony groaned.

“But that would be very impolite, and you’re the most polite man I know.” he replied, leaning down on the bed, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

Steve chuckled, and lost all pretence.

He made a quick work of Tony’s boxer, kneeling on the bed and leaning down, stroking him slowly as he watched him intently.

Apparently he got a little lost in it, because a while later Tony raised his head, a deep frown on his face.

“Really, Cap. It’s not an enemy base, you don’t have to plan an attack strategy. It’s a dick, just do something with it. Soon.” he hissed, unwilling to wait any further.

The smile on Steve’s face grew wider, as his hand picked up the pace.

“You know I don’t half-ass anything. I should just take my time with it and do it properly.” he made fun of him, thumbing at the tip and clearly enjoying the way Tony shivered.

The younger sat up, grabbing the back of his head.

He looked deep into his eyes for just a second, before kissing him. It was enough to throw Steve off balance, at the very least, and like this he wasn’t forced to see his grin.

He let the kiss linger a short while longer, making sure the elder could taste himself on his tongue, making sure he stayed focused on what they were currently doing, and then he let him go.

“I knew I shouldn’t have gotten you off first. You always lose interest when there’s no purpose for you.”

Steve shook his head, lying down on the mattress, bringing his head closer to the younger’s cock.

“That’d be you.” he pointed out. “Besides, I really do have a purpose here.” he informed him, and finally leant down to let his tongue meet Tony’s cock.

The younger let out a chocked moan, caught my surprise, but it didn’t take him long to get to speed.

“That’s what I was talking about.” he murmured, and he almost could _feel_ Steve smile against his cock.

He felt him lick him from base to tip a few times, playing around with the veins, his hand following his tongue’s movement, and then he finally got to real business and let the head sit against his lips, before parting them to take him in.

Maybe it was the wait, maybe it was that he hadn't felt so turned on in a very long while, but the wet heat surrounding him felt like heaven to Tony.

He didn’t have any issue letting him know how much he was enjoying it, and moaned deliberately whenever the Captain did something particularly right.

He tightened his fists, hard, raising his hand toward the elder’s head a few times and then changing his mind, until the other one noticed it. He pulled away, smiling fondly to him.

“I don’t mind.” was all he said, then he took him in his mouth again and grabbed his hand, leading it to his hair.

It took all of Tony’s self-control not to come right on the spot.

He combed through his hair a couple times, almost caressing him, before getting a good grip to his scalp and guiding his movements, doing the best he could not to be too rough about it.

For once, Steve played ball. He let him do as he pleased, going further down when the hand leading him requested it, taking him down to the roots with apparently no effort at all.

“Holy mother of...” Tony gasped, opening his eyes wide. He dared look down, the view of Steve’s lips wrapped so obscenely around him almost too much to bear. “I never gave you enough credit. Where the hell did you learn this stuff?” he panted, bucking up his lips a little, feeling Steve’s throat closing around him. “No, wait. I don’t want to know.” he added then, choosing to keep quiet and just enjoy it.

As the elder went down he pushed his hips up, building a rhythm that finally proved to be too much to bear. He let go of his head – in case he didn’t want to stay for this part – but all Steve did was deepthroat him again, keeping him there and moving his tongue around the best he could, until Tony couldn’t keep it anymore and came right down his throat, blabbering nonsense all the while, unable to focus on anything that wasn’t the pleasure he was currently feeling.

He vaguely felt Steve letting him go as he basked in the aftermath, his eyes closed and his breathing heavy, feeling as if he had died and gone straight to heaven.

When he felt enough in possess of himself he opened his eyes again, only to find Steve lying next to him, watching him with an amused look on his face.

“I guess we can agree, you haven’t lost your touch in the ice.” he told the elder, struggling a little to speak.

“You doubted I had it in the first place. I'm glad I made you change your mind.” he replied promptly, then he laid face-up on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. “So? What do we make of this?” he asked, all amusement gone, because somehow he knew.

He knew this couldn’t fix everything, even though both wished it had.

“I know I'm usually the one with all the answers, but I'm kind of lost right now.” he joked, no trace of actual amusement in his voice. He sighed, turning to look at him. “Just tell me you didn’t choose Bucky over me. I know it’s selfish and childish as hell, but it’s kind of what I need right now to forgive you. To know that somehow this all came from a good place, not only from wanting to protect him.” he added, looking troubled as he had probably never looked, staring deeply into Steve’s eyes as the elder did the same.

And the Captain took his sweet time, too. He sat up, grabbing his arm for him to do as much, looking at him as Tony hoped he had never looked at anyone in his life.

“I care for Bucky.” he said, after the longest while. “I care for him in a way I'm never going to care for anyone else. He’s been there for...” he sighed, shaking his head. “But he’s got nothing to do with this. The secret I kept, Tony, I didn’t only kept for him. The fact that I'm here right now, in this bed, has nothing to do with him.”

It hurt and soothed him at the same time.

Hurt like hell, even after all that had just happened.

But looking straight into Steve’s eyes, Tony knew he could find it in himself to forgive him, which was something he knew could have happened only for him.

“Okay.” he murmured, briefly closing his eyes. “So I guess I'm in bed with a war criminal. In a very literal sense. My dad would’ve said it was typical of me.” he joked, daring to smile at Steve, despite everything.

And the smile he saw on his face, that was worth all the compromises he had to make to forgive him.

They could do this, it didn’t matter how long it took.

Maybe, then, Tony would’ve finally been at peace. 


End file.
